By Michael Phillips
If you’ve ever wondered what “divorce privilege” looks like in America, look no further than Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte’s ongoing split from wife Kayla Rae Reid. In a case that’s raising eyebrows across the country, the former Playboy model isn’t just seeking custody of their three children—she’s going for a full sweep: the house, sole decision-making power, child support, and alimony.
In Florida, no less.
The headlines are already framing Lochte as the potential villain, but a closer look suggests something deeper: a cultural script that assumes the woman deserves everything—and the man is lucky if he’s left with a gym bag and a rental car.
Here’s what Reid is demanding, according to court filings:
- Primary custody of all three kids
- Exclusive use of the family’s $3 million home
- Monthly child support payments from Lochte
- Monthly alimony for herself
- Sole parental decision-making power (meaning: she alone decides schooling, medical care, religion)
- Mandatory life insurance on Lochte with her named as the sole beneficiary
If Ryan Lochte had filed for any of these requests against his wife, the media would be laughing him out of the courtroom—and social media would have him trending under #DeadbeatDad by lunch.
Imagine a man asking for the house, the kids, full control of their lives, and a monthly paycheck from the woman who birthed them. The double standard is glaring.
Let’s be real: Lochte’s not exactly America’s golden boy. He’s made his share of mistakes. But even flawed fathers deserve a fair shake in court—especially when the default setting seems to strip them of basic parental rights, while funneling cash and control to the other side without question.
This case isn’t just about Ryan Lochte. It’s about every father who’s walked into family court expecting justice and walked out feeling like an ATM with a weekend visitation schedule. It’s about how courts continue to treat fathers like optional accessories in their children’s lives, even when there’s no evidence of abuse, neglect, or unfitness.
Here’s the hard truth:
The family court system is not gender-neutral. It pretends to be. But stories like Lochte’s expose a deeper reality: when men ask for help, they’re seen as weak. When women do, they’re seen as victims. When men want custody, they’re controlling. When women want everything, it’s just “protecting the children.”
And don’t get us started on the life insurance clause. That’s not just about financial security—it’s about making sure your ex stays alive so the checks keep coming.
We’re not saying women shouldn’t receive support in genuine cases of need or abuse. But what we are saying is this: if equality is the goal, then fairness has to cut both ways. And right now, it’s not even close.
Ryan Lochte might be preparing for another battle outside the pool—but this one isn’t about medals. It’s about his right to be a father, not a funding source.
And if courts keep treating men like disposable wallets, don’t be surprised when fewer of them want to play by the rules of a rigged game.
Tired of the double standards? Join the movement to reform family court.
Bio:
Michael Phillips is the founder of the REBUILT Justice Project and editor-in-chief of The Republic Dispatch. A journalist and advocate, he exposes systemic failures in family court and fights for fairness for all parents.
The Republic Dispatch 